What is Relationship Anxiety?
Relationship anxiety is persistent fear, doubt or insecurity in a romantic relationship. Relationship anxiety is often centered around either “Is this relationship right for me?” or “What if my partner leaves or cheats on me?”
Relationship anxiety typically shows up in two main ways:
1. “Is this relationship right for me?” anxiety.
This form of relationship anxiety involves ongoing doubt about your feelings, attraction, compatibility, or long-term future. You may constantly question, “Do I really love my partner?” or “What if I’m settling?” Common relationship anxiety symptoms include overthinking your emotions, comparing your relationship to others, analyzing small flaws, or repeatedly checking your feelings for certainty. This pattern is also referred to as Relationship OCD (ROCD) when intrusive thoughts and compulsive checking behaviors are present.
2. “What if my partner leaves or cheats?” anxiety.
This side of relationship anxiety is rooted in fear of abandonment, rejection, or betrayal. In attachment theory terms, it's also referred to as anxious attachment. It often looks like needing reassurance in a relationship, worrying about cheating, feeling anxious when your partner doesn’t text back, jealousy, or imagining worst-case scenarios. You may feel hyperaware of changes in tone, distance or behavior and struggle to feel secure even when your partner is consistent.
Both forms of relationship anxiety involve intrusive thoughts, fear of uncertainty and reassurance-seeking behaviors. While occasional doubt is normal, relationship anxiety becomes a problem when the worry feels constant, overwhelming or difficult to control - even in a healthy relationship.
Do I have Relationship Anxiety?
You likely have relationship anxiety if you experience ongoing doubt, fear or insecurity in your relationship, even when nothing is objectively "wrong."
It can feel like your mind just won’t let you relax in love. You overthink, analyze and search for certainty. But no matter how much reassurance you get, the doubt comes back.
Relationship anxiety usually shows up in one (or both) of these patterns:
1. “Is this relationship right for me?” anxiety
This side sounds like:
“Do I really love them?”
“What if I’m settling?”
“What if there’s someone better?”
You may constantly check your feelings, monitor your attraction, compare your relationship to others, or research online trying to feel sure. The anxiety is a form of self-protection. A fearful or mistrusting part of you is trying to protect you from making the "wrong" choice. Because you're afraid of losing the relationship or ending up unhappy, your brain keeps scanning for proof that something is "off" (even when it's not.)
2. “What if my partner leaves or cheats?” anxiety
This side sounds like:
“What if they lose interest?”
“What if they’re pulling away?”
“What if I’m not enough?”
You might feel hyper-aware of texting patterns, tone shifts or small changes in behavior. You may need reassurance to feel safe. Even when your partner is loving and consistent, your nervous system stays on high alert. This anxiety is also a form of self-protection. A fearful or insecure part of you is trying to protect you from abandonment, rejection or betrayal.
Some uncertainty is part of being human in love. It becomes relationship anxiety when the worry keeps looping or returning and makes it hard for you to be present and enjoy life.
© 2026 CONSCIOUS COACHING LLC | PRIVACY POLICY
