How to Be Messy AND Happy — Tip #2
I’m back! With Tip #2 from my 3 Secrets of How to Be Messy AND Happy. If you haven’t seen Tip #1 yet, go read it now.
Because life is messy. And we are messy. And we shouldn’t have to delay our happiness until some far off date when we’ve accomplished more, earned more money, “mastered” motherhood, or conquered (fill in the blank.)
We’re already enough. You’re already enough. There’s no finish line of validation you need to cross. And there’s nothing you can do, be, say or get that can keep you happy if you aren’t willing to choose happiness right now, in this moment.
So, here it is…
Love the crap out of yourself.
You heard me. LOVE YO SELF. It’s no one’s responsibility to love you but yours.
I know, I know… everyone says that.
Everywhere you look these days, especially on a lot of social media pages like mine, people are trying to inspire and remind us to “love yourself! You’re awesome! You go girl!” And I love that. But I also know that it can start to lose its meaning when you hear the same thing over and over.
I want to put the meaning back into “love yourself.”
To do that, I’m going to give you a super simple practice that you can do anywhere, anytime. Personally, I practice this everywhere, all the time, because it’s sooo instantly life changing.
Best of all, it’s ridiculously easy.
Here’s what I want you to do. The next time you’re feeling down on yourself — for instance:
you’re worried that you offended someone, or
you’re feeling anxious or stressed about a situation in your life, or
you’re embarrassed or disappointed in yourself for messing up that one thing AGAIN —
Whatever it is, I want you to stop.
Just pause and take a deep breath.
And soothe your inner child.
These negative, overwhelming thoughts are actually coming from the child inside us that’s always there — and always 6 years old, or whatever age we started doing these negative thought patterns.
Very intentionally, you’re going to pretend that you’re the parent and you’re speaking to your inner child. Soothe her just like you would a sweet, tender kid:
Tell her that no matter what, she will always be okay. The universe doesn’t give us anything that we can’t handle. Tell her that she’s safe, she’s loved, and she’s enough. She doesn’t need approval from anyone else. She doesn’t need to be someone different or do something different. She’s already safe, she’s already loved, and she’s already enough.
Because YOU love you. You love you sooo much.
As you say these words, or whatever words feel right to you in the moment, breathe deeply and smile. Give yourself a big ol’ mental hug. Just like you’d do for a little girl or boy if you were loving on them.
Almost instantly, you’ll feel the difference in your heart and body.
That’s it! It takes seconds and can be done out loud, or in your head, anytime.
This mindful practice of loving ourselves — or more accurately, our inner child — is something most of us were never taught. And if we don’t make a practice out of conscious self-soothing, we can go our whole lives without ever really comforting or loving on our innermost selves. Isn’t that crazy when you think about it?
What if you went your entire life without anyone ever giving you a hug, telling you that you’re loved and that everything will be okay?
What if no one ever did that for your inner child? How might she feel?
She certainly wouldn’t feel very safe or loved. And those are basic human needs (after food, water, shelter) that all of us have. I don’t care how badass and tough you are. You still need to feel safe and loved. And not just your adult self — your child self, too. That’s part of being human.
There you have it. Tip #2 on How to Be Messy AND Happy. I hope it was helpful. And if it was, please take a second to comment or shoot me a message. I love hearing from you and I read every single one of them.
I’ll be back next week with final Tip #3! In the meantime, click here to learn about me and what I do.